This problem has been troubling Irish women, and women globally for that matter, for decades. ‘Will I bring Mam?’ And even more daunting, if I bring Mam, do I bring the Mother-in-Law! (Cue sounds of thunder, doomsday and lightening).

So after must discussion in Hen Party Central HQ of the horror stories we’ve heard and experienced by having your Mam on the hen party. We’ve put together a few reasons not to bring her on the hen party weekend. This way you’ll always look like an angel in her eyes and not have a hell of a lot of explaining to do when you get back.

The Topic of Men Arises

You’d be of the impression that on a hen party the only man you’d be talking about in relation to the bride is her wonderful fiancé. Well you’re right and you’re wrong at the same time. Picture it you’ll be at dinner with all the girls, the wine will be flowing, actually it’s probably gone as you order another bottle. Then some of the girls bring up the night you and your fiancé met and how ye were mauling the face off each other, god mort. Or how ye snuck out of the club another night and went back to his for a “chat”. Your mother Does Not need to hear this. Then if they get started on old boyfriends or flames and start dishing out all the dirty stories from your single life, you’ll just want the ground to open up and swallow you.

The Irish Mammy is a sensitive creature, except when you’re in trouble and she threatens a slap or the wooden spoon, so don’t upset her with listening to these stories.

Introducing Your Drunk-self to your Mam

Personally my own mother has met drunk me on far to many occasions. I’m a very polite drunk but move like a bull through a china shop once I get back into the house. Now if your Mammy has seen you in this condition you’re probably thinking, it’s nothing she has seen before. Eh wrong! This is a Hen Party, you will probably drink enough that night you’ll still be feeling the buzz from the alcohol on your wedding day.

Also another thing to consider is your Mam probably only ever saw you at the end of the night, right? She might not have seen you in full swing, lashing back shots, dancing on tables, and basically going mental with the girls. She’s only ever seen the result and never the journey. You don’t want to have that ‘talk’ the next day or later in the week that goes something like ‘Is that what you’re usually like on a night out?…

To avoid this leave Mammy at home.

Talks Of The Wedding Night

Believe it or not some Mammies believe that their little girl is still in fact, a virgin! She probably believes all those weekends away was to take in the sites and local foclóir. We know that couldn’t be further from the truth and a white dress just looks fantastic on your wedding day and the colour represents nothing.

Now what happens time to time on a hen party is some talk of the wedding night and it’s the 21st century so it could lead to some raunchy details. Underwear and bed tips by friends or as gifts is something you want to avoid your Mam hearing.

The only thing worse than that is if your Mam piping up with a few thoughts…wow,wow,wow…la,la,la…I’m not listening is what you’ll be shouting. I actually shivered at the thought after writing that.

Mam’s Drinking Stamina

This is one of the major reasons you might want to leave the Mammy at home. If there’s rounds and she’s not used to drinking that much, or the only time she has a shot is on holidays and thinks she is a mad thing, she could end up drunk long before you. Also if drinking isn’t her thing then it might not be a bad idea to leave her at home and let her avoid a raft of busy pubs and clubs and maybe organise something quieter later on with her.

Hen Party Accessories

No one wants to see their Mam holding an inflatable naked man and neither do they wish to see a host of penis paraphernalia hang around her neck, on her t-shirt, and especially on the straw she’s drinking from. Enough said leave her at home for that reason alone.

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